Dealing with outing
Outing is a form of cyberbullying where someone shares private information about another person without their consent. This may include forwarding private messages, sharing screenshots, posting personal information online, or revealing sensitive information. The person responsible is often known to you, and the impact can be severe.
Outing can be especially harmful where the private information relates to someone's sexuality, gender identity, health, family situation, immigration status, personal messages or intimate images. In some cases, it may also involve harassment, discrimination, threats, hate speech or the non-consensual sharing of intimate content.
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Approaches to dealing with outing
First consider whether it is safe to contact the person - Before contacting the person who shared the information, consider whether doing so could increase the risk to you.
You do not need to contact the person responsible. If there are threats, coercion, domestic abuse, stalking, blackmail, discrimination, sexual content, a significant power imbalance, or concern that the situation may escalate, do not make direct contact. Prioritise non-contact options such as preserving evidence, reporting the content to the relevant platform, seeking support from a trusted person or support organisation, or contacting SAPS where appropriate.
Do not make assumptions about whether direct contact is safe. If you are uncertain about the safety of contacting the person, avoid direct contact and seek appropriate support.
Ask the perpetrator to remove the content - If, after considering safety, it feels safe for you to do so, you may contact the individual who shared the information and ask them to remove it from every place they have posted or shared it.
You do not have to contact the person responsible. Where there are threats, coercion, abuse, stalking, blackmail, sexual content, discrimination, a significant power imbalance, or concern that the situation may escalate, prioritise non-contact options instead.
If the person is a school-aged child, contacting their parents or caregivers may be considered only where it is safe and appropriate and the parent or caregiver is not involved in the bullying, outing, abuse or conflict. If there is any concern that contacting them could increase risk, do not do so and consider other appropriate support options.
Keep a copy of the evidence - Save screenshots, messages, URLs and any other evidence showing how the information was shared. Keeping evidence will help if you need to report the incident to a platform, school or SAPS.
Warn others - If the shared information could be used to impersonate you or scam other people, consider warning your family, friends, colleagues or employer so they can ignore suspicious messages or requests claiming to come from you.
Contact the platform used to share the content - Use the platform's built-in reporting tools to report the post, profile or message and request that the content be removed.
If the content involves a child, child sexual abuse material, illegal content or other harmful online content, you can also report it to the Film and Publication Board (FPB) using its reporting channels. If someone is in immediate danger or there are threats of violence, contact SAPS immediately.
Intimate images: If the content includes intimate images or videos shared without your consent, see the Sextortion and Intimate Image Abuse guides. .
Try not to monitor the content and comments - While the information remains online, try to avoid repeatedly checking the content or reading comments. Constantly monitoring reactions can increase distress.
The information is now public - Having private information shared publicly can be extremely upsetting. Seek support from trusted people and professional support services if needed while you work through the impact.
Identity theft: If the information includes your South African ID number, banking details, address, identity documents or other sensitive personal information, see the Identity Theft guide and take steps to protect yourself against fraud or impersonation.
If you are being bullied
Know it is not your fault - Nobody deserves to be bullied. Someone choosing to repeatedly target or humiliate you reflects their behaviour, not your worth.
Reach out for help -If the behaviour is affecting you, speak to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, teacher or another trusted adult.
If you are a child or young person in South Africa, you can also speak to your school or Childline South Africa.
If you are in immediate danger, there are threats of violence, or you believe someone may harm you, contact SAPS immediately.
Don’t respond or retaliate - Bullies often seek a reaction. Responding may encourage further abuse or escalate the situation. If possible, remove yourself from the situation, block the person and focus on getting support instead.
Tell the person to stop - If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, clearly tell the person that you want them to stop. You may find it helpful to practise what you want to say with someone you trust beforehand.
If there are threats, coercion, abuse, stalking, blackmail, a significant power imbalance, or concern that the situation may escalate, do not contact the person responsible. Focus instead on preserving evidence, reporting the abuse and seeking appropriate support.
Use the tools available to you - Most social media platforms and messaging services allow you to block users, restrict contact and report abusive content. Using these tools can reduce further contact and help platforms take action.
Advice for parents and carers
Every case of cyberbullying is different and should be taken seriously.
Let them talk - Give your child the opportunity to explain what has happened in their own words. Listen without judgement and avoid making them feel embarrassed or blamed.
Don’t deny access to technology -Many young people avoid asking for help because they worry their devices will be taken away. Reassure them that speaking up will not automatically result in losing access to technology.
Talk to their school - Speak to the school about the incident and ask what action they can take through their code of conduct, anti-bullying procedures or learner support processes. Share any evidence you have and discuss how the school will help keep your child safe from further bullying or retaliation.
Schools play an important role in responding to bullying that affects learners, including behaviour that occurs online where it impacts the school environment or learner wellbeing.
Contact SAPS if you fear for their safety - If your child is in immediate danger, there are threats of violence, sexual exploitation, blackmail, stalking, or you fear someone may harm them, contact SAPS immediately.
You can also report the matter at your nearest police station and take copies of the evidence with you.
Tap into expert support
Depending on the circumstances, support may be available from:
Childline South Africa (children and young people)
Lifeline South Africa (emotional support)
SAPS (where criminal offences, threats or immediate safety concerns exist)
The Film and Publication Board (FPB) for illegal or harmful online content involving children
Your child's school or learner support services
LGBTQ+ support organisations where the outing relates to sexuality or gender identity
Gender-based violence (GBV) support services where the outing forms part of abuse, coercive control or intimate partner violence
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