Dealing with cyberstalking
Cyberstalking can have a very serious impact on its victims. The stalker often makes serious threats and is a constant presence in your life, often forcing you to make changes to your day-to-day routine. It is critical that you respond safely, explore the best approach and get expert help as quickly as possible when faced with cyberstalking. This guide will walk you through practical steps to stay safe and take action without escalating the situation or putting yourself at greater risk.
In South Africa, cyberstalking may be relevant to several legal routes, including harassment protection orders, domestic violence protection orders where the perpetrator is or was in a domestic relationship with you, and criminal reporting through SAPS where threats, unauthorised access, extortion, malicious communications, or other offences are involved.
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What is cyberstalking?
A specialist stalking charity, Protection Against Stalking, defines stalking as “A pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour which is repeated, persistent, intrusive and causes fear of violence or engenders alarm and distress in the victim”.
In the vast majority of stalking cases the stalker is known to the victim, typically an ex-intimate partner, a colleague or an acquaintance. However, in the online world a stalker can also be a complete stranger.
Cyberstalking involves the use of digital tools and technologies to monitor, harass, or intimidate someone, either as part of a broader pattern of stalking or entirely online. It often includes behaviours such as gathering personal information, sending repeated or threatening messages, tracking your activity through surveillance apps or social media, attempting to access your private accounts without permission, and spreading false or harmful content about you. These actions can be persistent, invasive, and psychologically damaging, and are often carried out across multiple platforms.
Accessing your accounts or devices without your consent or persistently monitoring your online or real-world activity are key signs of cyberstalking. These behaviours are harmful in themselves and often signal coercive control, where someone seeks to dominate, surveil, or restrict your freedom.
Responding to cyberstalking
It is likely that you have experienced a number of stalking behaviours before reaching this guide that have led you to believe you are being stalked. There are some important steps to take as soon as you can:
Don’t engage with the stalker — Cyberstalkers may have different motives, some seek contact or a relationship, while others aim to control, intimidate, or cause harm. Regardless of their intent, do not respond to their messages, never agree to meet in person, and avoid confronting them directly. Engaging with a stalker can escalate the situation or encourage further contact.
Report it to the police — If you are in immediate danger or believe someone else is at immediate risk, contact SAPS emergency services on 10111. For non-emergency reporting, contact your nearest SAPS police station and explain the pattern of behaviour, including any online activity, threats, account access, tracking, or attempts to contact you. If the behaviour is ongoing, you may also be able to apply for a protection order through your local Magistrates’ Court. You do not need to wait until you have a protection order before reporting criminal conduct to SAPS.
Seek GBV support where relevant — If the stalking is linked to domestic abuse, intimate partner abuse, sexual violence, or gender-based violence, you can contact the Gender-Based Violence Command Centre on 0800 428 428 or use the ‘please call me’ USSD service 1207867#. Deaf users can add Helpme GBV on Skype. They can provide crisis support and referrals.
Document everything — Keep a copy of all instances of online stalking. Take screenshots, making sure to capture usernames and timestamps. Copy and save any direct links to posts or comments and download or save any shared content. Document the context of the incident in detail. For platforms with disappearing content, use another device to take photos before it vanishes. If possible, export chat logs to preserve a full record. This will be useful evidence for the police or social media platforms if the stalking escalates. It also ensures you have a copy if the perpetrator deletes their posts and profile.
Focus on your online security — Cyberstalkers often gather personal information to intimidate, monitor, or control their targets. In some cases, they may attempt to access your online accounts. To protect yourself, it’s important to take steps to secure your digital presence. Start by using strong, unique passwords for every account and enabling multifactor authentication (MFA) wherever possible. Another way to protect yourself is to report cyberstalking effectively on social media platforms before it escalates. Use built-in reporting tools, provide clear evidence, such as screenshots or URLs, and select the appropriate category such as harassment or stalking.
Work through our Cyberstalking Action Plan — Our Cyberstalking Action Plan is a methodology to regain your online privacy, security and confidence. It is designed for those suffering cyberstalking or domestic abuse where there is a cyber element. If you are using the Cyberstalking Action Plan in South Africa, follow the digital safety steps but use South African reporting, legal, and support routes where the plan refers to UK services.
Approaches to dealing with cyberstalking
Once you have completed the above steps try the following:
Be mindful of who you inform — If you feel it is safe, you may want to let trusted people know what is happening for support. It’s important to consider carefully who you can feel comfortable sharing your concerns with, as in some situations people close to you may also be approached or monitored by the perpetrator.
If you do decide to tell someone in your personal life, you can ask them to review their own online security, to avoid sharing personal details about you, and not to engage with the perpetrator if safe.
Reaching out to professionals may also be helpful, as they can work with you to create a plan for managing your immediate safety and security, as well as deciding how and when to safely involve those around you.
If you involve family, friends, a school, university, employer, faith leader, or community member, make sure they understand not to contact the perpetrator, share information about you, or post about the situation online.Think about your offline security — Stalking can take many forms and can span the online and offline worlds. Take this opportunity to think about your offline safety. Assessing your home security and being conscious of your personal safety makes sense during the stalking.
Check your privacy settings — Take some time to look over the settings on your online accounts, such as email, social media, shopping, or cloud storage. Adjust them to a level that feels safe for you. This could include limiting who can see your information, posts, or activity, and checking who has access to your accounts.
Look for location sharing and connected accounts — Some platforms and devices can share your location automatically, such as tagging to posts, photos or stories. Check the settings on your apps and devices to limit or turn off location sharing if you feel this could put you at risk.
It’s also worth considering whether any accounts are shared with others, for example, family, parenting or linked accounts, and reviewing what information they might make visible.Stay up to date with your online footprint — Regularly review the security of your online accounts. Make sure your passwords are strong and unique, enable two-factor authentication where possible, and check who has access to your accounts.
It can also help to search your name online to see if personal details such as your address, phone number, email, or places you frequently visit appear. If you come across sensitive information, you may want to explore options to reduce its visibility. In some cases, this could include reporting the content or asking the website owner or company to remove it on your behalf.
Tap into expert stalking support
South Africa-specific support routes to consider include:
SAPS for criminal reporting and emergencies.
Your local Magistrates’ Court for protection order applications.
Gender-Based Violence Command Centre for GBV/domestic abuse support.
Legal Aid South Africa for legal advice if eligible.
Childline South Africa where a child is affected.
Where a child is affected, you should seek appropriate safeguarding and child-protection support.
Where there is immediate danger, contact the appropriate emergency service, including SAPS emergency services on 10111 where appropriate.
The Cyber Helpline can provide information and signposting. It should not be used as a substitute for emergency services where there is an immediate threat to your safety.
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